Why I Failed My Jamb

I decided to write something short about my first jamb and this piece is titled “Why I Failed My Jamb.” I’d like to congratulate those who scaled through for this year’s jamb and also encourage those who didn’t that it isn’t the end. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Why I Failed My Jamb by Simi

I remember having to write jamb twice. And no, it wasn’t because I failed out of non preparation. It was because I fell in love with the finest guy in my jamb lesson. I thought he was an angel but he proved to be a demon in disguise. He gave me ptsd in the exam hall.

It was 2014 and I had registered for jamb in a center close to my home. My mother had begged me to concentrate well and pass my exams so I would study Law in Unilag. I had joined the center late and noticed there had been cliques already and I felt left out at the beginning.

I was 18 at the time and was very quiet. I would come early to the tutorial, concentrate in the classes and leave as soon as it ended. I hadn’t made any friends yet. I began to hear whispers. “She thinks she’s the finest girl here.” “She’s so proud.” “She’s not even that fine.”

I was quite intelligent too and would answer questions when nobody else could. The tutors began getting fond of me.

“Be like Shola, she’s a very smart girl. I wonder why you guys don’t ask her for assistance. You’re doing shakara ehh.” One of the tutors would tell the others.

“It’s not our fault. She acts like Queen Elizabeth.” One of the students answered and everybody began to laugh. It wasn’t my fault that I didn’t talk to any of them but I believed I intimidated them so they never approached me. They would silently hiss when I pass.

I decided to keep to myself and just study hard for my exams. I didn’t come there to make friends. Another girl joined the tutorial shortly after. She seemed friendly and nice and soon enough, we became friends.
“Have you noticed that boy that wears headphones?” She asked.

I turned and saw him. I had indeed noticed him from the first day I joined the tutorial. He was very handsome and had all the girls over him. He was unarguably the finest guy in the tutorial and I sometimes stole glances at him.

“He’s fine abi.” I answered with a grin.
“Fine die! He’s my spec. I don’t know how I want to do it oh but I just have him.” She added.

Stella was 17 at the time and was very busty. She was very bold and daring. I had gotten fond of her because she was good company and would take my mind off the hate at the tutorial. But Stella wasn’t so intelligent and I had taught her even after the tutorials.

“Hiii!” The finest boy approached us that morning fondling with his headphone. I had my heart in my mouth. “Hello Rotimi.” Stella answered with a wink. Rotimi was tall, light skinned and muscular.
“I am having my birthday party soon and was wondering if you’d like to come.” He began.
“Me?” Stella answered dramatically. Rotimi laughed
“Actually, you both.” Stella turned to me with a grin
“Yes, we will come.” I felt uneasy. I didn’t know if I could attend his party.
“Don’t you want to go?” Stella asked later that day.
“It would be very nice. At least, you can have fun and be more free with these guys. You have this wall around you and you should relax.” She advised.
“You make it sound easy.”
“Shola, we have to please go.” She begged.

I made up my mind to attend the birthday party the coming weekend. Stella and I had gotten our outfits as we heard the birthday was one of the biggest in town.

“Rotimi will be mine. Let’s bet it.” Stella had dragged my pinky finger to make a bet. I felt uneasy. I liked Rotimi.

As the day got closer, Rotimi had begun giving me weird attention. He would brush past me, wink at me when nobody was looking and sometimes blow a kiss. I didn’t tell Stella about it. It would break her heart. But I enjoyed the hide and seek attention. I found it cute and funny.

The day of the party came. Almost everybody at the tutorial were coming. His house was a mansion, there was a big pool and a lovely garden.

“I told you this guy is rich! You know his mum is oyinbo. Did you even know he’s a citizen of America?” Stella had informed on our way.

I really cared less. I was eager to see him. I had accepted that he was my crush and I was very much attracted to him. He came out shortly after and he looked amazing. It was glaring he had designers on and I got to see his sisters. They were very beautiful.

He was turning 18 that day and his birthday was very elaborate. There were many beautiful girls around. I knew I didn’t stand a chance, neither did Stella. The party was going on great and we were all having fun. Stella had gotten the attention of a guy there and she had left me.

Rotimi had walked towards me and I could feels eyes on me.

“How’s the party going for you?” He had asked as he took a seat near me.
“I’m having fun. It’s a really nice party. Thanks for having me here.”
“Would you mind staying for the after party?”
“Like sleeping over?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not so sure. I…” I began.
“It’s fine if you don’t want to. Sorry I asked.” And he began walking away. I felt very bad.
“What did he say? Was he asking about me? Did he see me with that guy? Was he angry I was dancing with that guy?” Stella asked almost immediately.
“No.”
“So he was talking to you? What was it about?”
“He wanted to know if we could stay over for the after party.”
“Yes! I hope you told him yes. I am so excited. I have told that guy to leave me alone that I came for Rotimi. Let him not spoil my parole.” Stella said with a hiss.

She finally convinced me to stay over for the party. People had come and left and I noticed older people were in more numbers. A few of those in our tutorials remained. There was alcohol and even weed. The real party was about to start.
“Guy! Na party be this!” Stella shouted.

We were now inside the house and the mood had changed. We were in a circle and a game of spin the bottle was being played. Rotimi had changed to a shirt and pair of shorts and he looked very sexy. He began spinning the bottle and telling people what to do.

I prayed it didn’t get to my turn and watched as it spun past me. People were asked to kiss, flash their breasts etc. I didn’t feel comfortable playing this. Then Rotimi shouted “Finally my turn!”. Stella began to stylishly pull her shirt down to reveal her cleavages.

“Rotimi, pick any girl here and kiss her.” Someone said to him.

I could see smiles on girls faces. I knew they wanted him to pick them. My heart began to beat and I could swear people heard it.

“Shola! I pick you!” Rotimi said.

Stella pinched me in shock. I couldn’t move.

“Me?” I said quizzingly. Everybody laughed and I could see the envy in some of their faces.
“Yes Shola.” Then he walked towards me, held my face in his hands and placed his lips on mine. That was my first kiss. I couldn’t believe I was going to have it that night.

The kiss was beautiful even though it was in the midst of plenty. His lips were soft and his tongue danced around my mouth. My heart was beating fast. I didn’t want it to stop.

“Hahan! It’s okay! It’s okay!” People began to shout and Rotimi finally stopped kissing me.

I could see the brightness in his eyes. I couldn’t believe it. I kissed Rotimi. I turned to stare at Stella and she was burning in anger. She had a big frown on her face.

“Slut.” I could hear her say under her breath.

I knew I had lost my friendship with her.

Other games came up and Rotimi stopped playing . He held my hand and whispered in my ears “Come, let me show you around.”

At this point, Stella could run mad. She held her bag and left the party. I didn’t even know what to do.

“I really like you Shola.” Rotimi began.
“And I know you think it’s a joke but I’ve always been looking for a way to approach you. You’re very beautiful and that’s why those girls don’t like you, don’t mind them. I am so happy you got to attend this my party and I can never forget today because of you.” I was stunned.
“I actually like you too Rotimi. You’re very handsome and I enjoy your jokes too. I could never believe you’d like me too or even approach me.” I had expressed shyly.

Rotimi held my hand, stared in my face and planted another kiss on my lips. It felt like a fairytale.

Shortly after, he led me into a part of his house.

“This is my base. Like my own house in the house. Do you smoke?” He asked as he lit a blunt.
“No.” I shook my head.
“You’re such a cutie.” He said smiling and disposed the weed.
We were now in his room and it was so beautiful.

“I want you to be comfortable with me. I really like you and want to spend so much time with you. I know you think it’s too fast but I’ve been holding this back since forever.” He confessed and got very close to me.

His hands were now on my waist and he began to kiss my neck.

He had a way of doing things and I was off guard. I allowed him kiss my neck, my ears, my breasts and my lips. I was head over heels for him.

“Rotimi, no stop.” I cautioned as he tried lifting my gown.
“What?” He asked innocently.
“I’m a virgin.” I said in fear.
“Me too but we are adults now. I swear, it won’t be bad and I’m sure you will like it. I won’t make it painful.” He assured.

I didn’t feel ready for it. So I pushed him away. “No please I’m not ready.”

He walked to his bed and was almost at the verge of tears.

“You can go.”

I felt terrible and went to beg him. Almost immediately, he began kissing me again and I found myself flat on the bed.

“It won’t be painful, I promise you.” He reassured.

I nodded and allowed him undress me. Shortly after, he had his face buried in my breasts.

I couldn’t resist him at this point and decided to enjoy the moment as I moaned. He had a gentle touch and before I knew what was happening he had entered me.
“It’s painful.” I begged him.
“I’m being careful please just relax. It would be over soon.” I closed my eyes in pain.

After a few more thrusts, he was fully in and I could see the blood that came with it. He had a condom on. I had just lost my virginity and was still in shock.

I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I wasn’t enjoying it. It hurt. Rotimi was done shortly after and gave me a kiss.

I didn’t want to look like a cry baby and cry in front of him. I went to the bathroom to cry my eyes out. I didn’t feel ready and I felt stupid on top of it.

“Baby, are you crying? Shola please stop it, I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t love you. I’m serious about you.”

I washed myself and came out shortly. He cuddled me to sleep and kept reassuring me that he wanted to spend his lifetime with me. “You’re my baby now.” He said.

I resumed tutorials the following week and noticed Rotimi was cold to me. I didn’t understand why.

Stella had also avoided me and I noticed she was friends with the other girls now.

“My baby, it’s not like I’m avoiding you, I just don’t want people here to know about our affair. Let’s keep it between us. They will spoil what we have. You know the envy.” Rotimi explained.

I had decided to understand and keep our affair low key. But soon after, I started hearing it.

“I thought she was even a good girl. Rotimi used her finish on his birthday.”
“He slept with her easily.”
“She’s very cheap.”
“I won’t be surprised if she does hookup.”
“Virgin keh! She wasn’t a virgin oh. I even heard she lied to him.”
“Somebody that was throwing herself to him anyhow.”
“Did she think he loved her? Rotimi that’s community penis. She’s so cheap.”
“She saw golden boy and wanted to tap into the light.”
“She was professing love oh”

I was losing my mind. The boy I thought was in love with me was merely using me to score cheap points. It finally dawned on me that it was a bet amongst the boys in the tutorial. According to them, I wasn’t an easy catch and Rotimi was so prove them wrong. I felt depressed.

I had to stop going to the tutorial. I was losing my sanity and couldn’t stop crying. My mother had noticed my change in mood but I kept lying that I was fine.

I felt like the biggest fool and I also lost my friendship because of it. I became a shadow of myself and lost weight

On the day of my jamb, April 12, I had walked to the center head down. I didn’t want to see anybody I knew. I got into the class and I saw Rotimi seated. He immediately saw me and had an ugly smirk on his face. He proceeded to lick his lips and wink at me. I felt disgusted.

My seat wasn’t far from him at all and I couldn’t concentrate in the exam. I saw my tears drop on the exam sheet and I had forgotten most of what I read. I was praying to God to take the thoughts away and help me. I couldn’t go on with the torture. My mind was in disarray.

I had failed woefully and was suicidal. My dream of studying law couldn’t be achieved that year. Rotimi had ruined me and continued spreading lies about me. The wicked boy had gotten admission to Covenant and there I was, still at home and waiting for another jamb the next year.

The following year, I wrote another jamb but went through diploma instead to the University of Lagos. I met Stella there as a fresher also. Surprisingly, she wasn’t mad at me anymore. She symphatized with me when I told her my story but our friendship shortly ended.

Apparently, she was still seeing Rotimi and was giving him information about me. I didn’t want anybody associated with him in my circle.

THE END.

Written by Simisola Sowole (Novels by Simi)

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